have decided to dedicate this post to fanfiction.net
HAHA
waiting for zoe to edit
):
so anw, here are some funny extracts for ppl lyk zhiyi
:D
(apparantly, most funny parts seemed to be connected to Tezuka. Realize?)

Prince of Cheerleading

True to his word, Tezuka wrote a formal reply to Atobe to politely decline the invitation.
“Atobe:
I’m afraid I would have to decline this offer. We are preparing for the Nationals during this period, and we have no time for any other competitions that are unrelated to tennis. Also, no one here has any experience in cheerleading, and we have no coach.
Yours sincerely,
Tezuka.”
Barely a few hours after Tezuka had sent his reply, the Hyotei king had sent a reply for Tezuka’s reply, and a coach too.
An exasperated Tezuka ripped open the envelope.
“Tezuka:
You’re not running away, are you? If Fudoumine and Hyotei can train for the competitions in four months, ore-sama don’t see why the famous Seigaku wouldn’t be able to do so too. If you have no time, then make time for this event, since it is hosted by ore-sama. You should be honoured. If you’re worried about the lack of a coach, I can assure that you will find the coach I sent with this letter to be a very capable trainer indeed. Whatever it is, Tezuka, just remember. The winner is Hyotei.
You should worship,
Ore-sama, the greatest king of Hyotei, Atobe Keigo.”
Tezuka translated Atobe’s reply easily- “I don’t take no as an answer.”

---

“Tezuka. This is cheerleading. You have to try to smile, even if only a little.” Oishi told his best friend.
Tezuka’s lips turned down further in response to that.
“That’s right, that’s right. Do the cheerleading smile!” Kikumaru demonstrated, opening his mouth in a huge, wide smile.
Both Fuji and Inui nodded. “Just try, Tezuka.”
The corners of Tezuka’s lips quivered ever so slightly. Eventually, that quiver turned into something that looked rather like he was having spasms in his face. After what felt like an eternity, Tezuka smiled…or at least, he tried to. That smile looked like a very, very evil version of a leer that put Fuji’s evil grins to shame.
Kikumaru gave a scream, hiding behind Oishi. The next moment, Kikumaru found himself supporting Oishi though, for the motherhen had fainted. Fuji’s eyes had opened, his smile gone as he paled. Inui couldn’t even note that down in his data. The hand holding his pen and the hand holding his notebook were shaking too badly for him to do so.
“Enough. Tezuka, stop smiling!” Kikumaru wailed.
Tezuka’s ‘grin’ remained fixed on his face. “…I…can’t…” the reply came after a while.
“Why not? Just stop grinning already, Tezuka. You’re scaring us!” Kikumaru wailed again.
Tezuka’s grin was unchanging, though his glare was also activated too, making him look 10 times scarier than his usual self.
“…… my face has cramped……”

---

All of the regulars’ eyes shone with admiration for their captain. “We’re right behind you, Tachibana-san.” As one, all of them declared.
Tachibana nodded. “Good. I’ll demonstrate now.”
The dark-haired third year walked about the courts, glancing around as if he were searching for something. After a while, he spotted what he was looking for, and bending over, picked up two small, mineral water bottles off the bench. His regulars watched with bated breath, awaiting his next instructions.
Without warning, the captain did a demonstration…and all the regulars’ breath left them as they gave a wheeze of horror.
For Tachibana was shaking the two bottles in the air like imaginary pompoms, while gyrating his hips and jiggling his butt at the same time. It was…incredibly disturbing.
“Enough, enough, Tachibana-san.” The regulars wailed. Shinji had long retreated into his own world and was fervently mumbling again. They never thought they’d live to see such a mind-scarring performance from their most respected leader.
Tachibana raised an eyebrow, misinterpreting their dilemma. “Oh? You don’t need me to do a demonstration anymore? You’re fast learners.” He said approvingly.
Clapping his hands twice, he gathered their attention again. “Now then, shall we begin?”

---

Even as she approached the regulars, she could see all of them practicing. Cheerleading moves, apparently. She had a good first impression of them. To begin practice even without a coach yet, it was admirable.
Once she had reached them close enough, all good feelings she had towards the regulars evaporated.
For all of them were dressed in a sailor top, and a mini skirt. The man who was her guide remained expressionless (contrasting the look of shock on her face), as if he was used to seeing them in these kinds of outfits. He casually introduced her as their new trainer, and Maiko found seven pairs of eyes focused on her instantly.
“Oh? You’re the new trainer? I’m glad. We do need all the help we can get because none of us know anything about cheerleading. I’m the club captain Tachibana Kippei, by the way. Yoroshiku.”
“Yoroshiku…” She was too stunned to say anything anyway, except to repeat the greeting automatically. Just what were these boys thinking, wearing like that? The horror!
If that wasn’t bad enough, Tachibana had then called over his shoulder, addressing his teammates. “Yosh! Let’s show our new teacher what we’ve been practicing so far. One, two, three…”
Instantly, Maiko found herself in male hula paradise. All the regulars, holding two mineral water bottles in each hand, were swaying their hips to imaginary Hawaiian music, their mini skirts swishing from side to side. All they lacked now was a sea, sand and coconut tree backdrop to complete the picture.
“Well, sensei. How was it?” Tachibana, supposedly the violence-prone one, asked even as he continued on with this dance.
Maiko swayed on the spot on the while, then fainted dead away.

---

To the peasant Tachibana Kippei, captain of Fudoumine,
Ore-sama usually doesn’t write letters personally to people who are not of ore-sama’s status, but since I consider you to be a person of Tezuka’s class, I’ll make an exception.
As you would most probably have heard, ore-sama has kindly extended an invitation to your peasants’ school for an inter-school cheerleading competition. The participants are Seishun Gakuen and, of course, ore-sama’s very own Hyotei Gakuen. While your unseeded school’s reputation and skills are nothing to boast about, I do hope that you’d at least be able to display a performance on that day which is worth ore-sama’s notice.
I will be sending a coach to your school along with this letter. Rest assured that you will find the coach to be very capable. Then again, that’s of course. Ore-sama never makes mistakes when it comes to selecting coaches. I expect to see you on the day of the competition.
The winner is,
Ore-sama, Atobe Keigo. Be awed by my beautiful handwriting.

---

That certainly was an enlightening experience. Tachibana wasn’t exactly at fault. He had only seen the girls’ cheerleading performance so far, and had never known that the guys’ cheerleading team had a different outfit, and different moves altogether.
They got down to work immediately. For the first few practices, the poor coach still couldn’t look at any of them in the eye. The brain-scarring experience was still fresh in her mind.
She instructed them on the basics, which all of them needed, as none of them had any experience, nor do they have much knowledge about cheerleading. Also, a cheerleading team needed a minimum of 12 members, and since their existing regulars only consisted of seven people, five non-regulars had to be roped into the team.
While they were inexperienced in cheerleading, they were also, if anything, very enthusiastic learners. Under Tachibana’s leadership, they followed all of the coach’s instructions without fail.
Maiko beamed. Things were looking optimistic for them. Whatever it was, they must beat Seigaku!

Echizen, Our Buchou

“What is Fuji-senpai’s favourite hobby?” Ryoma asked.
“Collecting cacti!” “Taking pictures!” Most of the answers were these two.
“Torturing people?” Takahiro’s was the only different answer, and no sooner had the words escaped his lips when he found everyone staring at him. “What?”
He really didn’t know this ‘Fuji’ person long enough to know his hobbies, and based on his observations of the brown-haired senior, that person had the aura of a sadist rolling off him, so wouldn’t this answer be the most accurate?
Everyone began to snicker. Ryoma chuckled openly, while Inui gave a cough.

---

“What is Kikumaru-senpai’s sneakers’ brand?”
‘Heavens…as if I would know that’, Takahiro thought weakly.
“Where would Ryusaki-sensei usually go on Sundays?”
‘What am I, a stalker?’ Takahiro was beginning to wonder if there was one question that he could actually answer.
“What is our headmaster’s favourite drink?”
‘Goodness. Someone please shoot me now…’
“Where is Atobe’s Mansion 10 located?”
‘……’
“What is my cat’s…”
“Karupin!” Momoshiro and Kaidou yelled out the answer at the same time.
“…breed?” Ryoma finished the question.
“Himalayan.” The Chessmaster was amongst those who were able to answer this. Hurray…that would be about 3 questions that he managed to get correct now. Out of 30…

---

Inui seemed to be pondering something a while. “Minna. The 50 questions are up. However, I would like to mention that there will be one bonus question, and this one would carry 50 points, so anyone who gets it correct would be guaranteed to the next round. Now listen up to the 51st question.”
“There is a bonus question?” Ryoma asked. Inui definitely didn’t mention this to him when they came up with this task.
Inui’s glasses glinted.
“The 51st question. What characteristics would the former Seigaku captain Tezuka look for in a date?”
The non-regulars gaped stupidly at that. Tezuka? Date? Somehow, they could not string these two words in a same sentence, and even the effort of trying to imagine this was causing their heads to hurt.
The regulars, however, had identical grins on their faces. Simultaneously, they answered:
“Black-green hair, golden-hazel eyes, very good at tennis, very stubborn, very arrogant, very bratty.”
“Yes, yes. The brattier the person is the better.” Momoshiro added evilly.
Kaidou was snickering quietly at that.
“It’s best if the person is as stubborn as Tezuka-buchou is too.” Itsuki added cheerfully.
“Well answered. 50 points for all of you.” Inui grinned. Next to him, Ryoma looked like he was itching to throw his racket, just that he couldn’t decide whether to throw it at Inui or Momo.
“How would all the regulars know that answer…also…that characteristic sounds rather familiar…” The non-regulars were whispering amongst themselves. None of them knew that the “answer” was standing near them at the moment.

---

“This will be your last task. Inui’s Special Crazy Cocktail Deluxe.”
Already, the audience took cover in all possible corners, as if afraid that Inui would suddenly grab a random ‘volunteer’ to do a demonstration of how the task was done.
Momoshiro pointed a shaking finger at the barrel of ‘toxic’. He was pretty sure it was toxic anyway. “H-how would that be able to test our endurance? Are you trying to poison us, Inui-senpai?”
Inui raised his eyebrows slightly. “That is a very terrible thing to say, vice-captain Momoshiro. I certainly don’t intend to poison you. Besides, captain Echizen has agreed with me that this should be tested on all of you. It might improve all your performances.”

---

“Inui-senpai. Just what did you put in that drink anyway?” He asked when he noticed that none of them looked like they were about to get to their feet anytime soon.
Inui adjusted his glasses. “The tail feathers of a crazy rooster.”
Ryoma’s eyes widened, while Momo and Kaidou turned green and promptly fainted again. “Now I see what you meant by crazy cock-tail Deluxe.” Ryoma nodded in understanding

---

Tezuka watched in amusement as Ryoma and his father had somehow gotten into a rather childish argument. Something to do with the brand of rackets. Tezuka had no idea how did this conversation begin, and he certainly didn’t see how they could argue over something as trivial as that.
Rinko would keep Nanjirou in check occasionally by pulling his ear. Somehow, the samurai seemed mildly afraid of his wife. Watching the Echizen family’s antics, Tezuka felt rather out of place. His family was so different than theirs. The Tezukas were a completely down to earth bunch, while the Echizens…well…they could be hardly considered a normal family.
Nanako seemed to be the only ‘normal’ one at the table, as she gave a chuckle and turned to Tezuka. “I understand if you’re surprised by them, but they’re like this all the time. It took me some time to get used to their bantering habits too when I first came over to stay with them. So, Tezuka-kun. What’s your family like? Have any siblings?”

---

Nanjirou snorted. “Coming from a family like that, it’s a miracle how you and Ryoma…itai, itai, itai…” It was a good thing Rinko had quick reflexes, and she pulled Nanjirou’s ear before he could finish the sentence. Ryoma inwardly cheered his mother on for stopping Nanjirou attempts to embarrass Tezuka


LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

well, im done. fyi im gonna publish chapter 2
:D

the player..